Be Good

We have all been told – probably as a child – to “be good.” We’ve all probably said it to a child, or friend, or pet, be it seriously or not. But what does “be good” really mean?

I remember hearing a story from someone that said as a child, they had a hard time grasping what “be good” meant. She remembered a time where her mother promised to give her some candy if she was “good” while they were out running errands. So, in her eyes, she was on her best behavior. She approached everyone with a bright smile and engaged them in conversation and had a good time talking to everyone they came across. When they were on their way home, she brightly asked if she would be getting her candy, to which her mother said, “No, you weren’t good,” in a tone that implied that it should have been obvious.

It's interesting that there is a large gap in the understood meaning between the phrases “be good” and “do good.” When someone uses the phrase “be good,” they are more than likely asking for someone to behave. Don’t cause a fuss, be quiet and do as you’re told. When someone is well behaved in any setting, they’re good. When they’re polite or a “pleasure to have in class,” they’re good. Following all the implicit social rules and not standing out.

It’s really a rather nebulous idea that changes definition from person to person and you just have to hope you know which rules to follow so you don’t get in trouble or so you get your candy. As demonstrated in the story above, the mother fully believed the little was not being good because she was talking and bringing attention to herself. But truly, the little girl was doing good. She undoubtedly brought smiles to the faces of the retail workers at the stores they visited, and she was simply being herself.

But when it comes to the phrase “do good,” far more than behaving is expected. Someone being quiet in class is being good, but if the class clown stands up to some bullies, that’s doing good – even if they aren’t necessarily being good in class.  

In fact, there are plenty of examples of Jesus doing good that meant that he wasn’t being good as far as the Pharisees were concerned. Touching the sick and poor, working on the sabbath, saving gentiles along with the Jews. There were many people being good and following all the rules handed down to them and not making any waves in their life, not bringing any attention to themselves by asking questions or interacting with those they shouldn’t.

When it comes to being a good person, it most often correlates with the idea of someone who does good things, more so than someone who “is good” in the way we’ve talked about.  In fact, it’s wholly possible for someone to “be good” while not being a good person at all. There are countless examples of people being surprised by the heinous crimes of individuals because they were so polite and nice.

So, I think it’s important to really consider the language more when asking someone to “be good” and what exactly we mean by that. Especially when speaking to a child. Do we want to teach them to behave and not cause trouble, or do we want to focus on teaching them to do good?